It’s a tireless job being the dude in charge of a large chicken coop. The perfect rooster is ballsy enough to stand up for the ladies, but docile enough to know his place with the human component on the farm
Fabio, our current main man, seems to have all of the characteristics of a winner. His predecessor, Glitta King, unfortunately, did not. Glitta King was so nasty that we had to have him join the ranks residing in my freezer…..that was until some gentleman at the Farmer’s Market purchased him to make Coq au vin (yes, the traditional recipe calls for a rooster).
Typically, the rule of thumb is one rooster for every 10-15 hens so we have two dudes on the premises. The only problem is the other rooster, who is so bland that his name is “the other guy”, is a total wimp. So Fabio has taken it upon himself to not only keep an eye on the 35 woman-folk, but he also spends a good portion of the day reprimanding the sorry excuse for a dude, “the other guy”.
Every morning I bring fresh water, crushed veggies and feed to the chicken coop and every morning it plays out the same way. Fabio closely watches every chicken to ensure they are getting something to eat. He runs himself ragged chasing some hens away because he feels they have had enough, while literally shoving some others up to the feeders. For some reason I find it quite paternal and sweet.
But the highlight of this morning, just like every morning, is watching Fabio interact with The Other Guy. Fabio spends literally 30-40 minutes making The Other Guy’s life miserable……every damn morning. The Other Guy is chased from one end of the coop to the other and then round and round the outside of the coop. Every now and then, from a safe distance, The Other Guy will attempt to stand up for himself by beginning a resounding, chest out, cock-a-doodle-do, but it is always aborted midway by Fabio as he charges toward him. It ends up sounding like “cock-a-dood-yip, yip yip” as he turns on his heels and runs away, taking frantic glances behind. It looks just like a cartoon. There is nothing quite like a floorshow while sipping my morning coffee.
I am certain there is a sociological study in all of this, a representation of the human condition or some such thing, but I would have to stop laughing long enough to discover just what is the inner meaning of it all.